Los Angeles, CA Acupuncture, Parenting Blog Acumomma

Do You Need A Chew Toy? Lessons learned from Kindergarden

2012-05-25T06:22:00Z

You've heard of people treating their dogs or pets like humans, right?

They dress them up in designer duds (just last week a saw a fabulous maltese in a denim vest), bedazzle their collars, and dye their fur, carry them around in specially designed pet carriers or slings.

Well - this blog post isn't about that!

E. (my precocious Kindergardener) starts up the best conversations when she is in the mood. The other day, we were walking hand-in-hand along the street and she said to me, "Today we said, "G. get the rope G. get the rope." HUH? "What does that mean?" I asked. G. is one of the cutest boys in E.'s class - he has kind, gentle light blue glowing eyes, a sweet smile, and impeccable manners and always comes over and talks to me. Well - apparently G. has an anger management or control issues. G. hits. So G. has a rope and when he gets angry/upset, the teacher and/or his classmates say to him, "G. get the rope. Get the rope." G. then goes to his rope and pulls it until he calms down.

I listened - amazed. Though if I dissect it, I willI admit, I listened 1. Thoroughly amused (holding back my smile picturing a dog pulling on a rope) 2. Fascinated (because the technique is genius and E. described it without stigma, in a very matter-of-fact way) 3. Wondering (Who thought up this great technique - teacher, parent, therapist).

Now I will also mention that G. has a chew toy. I was aware of teething toys for babies and infants, but I had never seen a chew toy for a school aged child. It looks like a beautiful agate or obsidian obelisk with a thin rope running through it and he wears it around his neck like a necklace. It has little pieces bitten out of it and it is made from nontoxic rubber. Apparently, G. likes to chew on pencils and when I did some internet research on it - out of curiosity mostly - some kids, sometimes autistic or not - need an oral outlet. It is a sensory thing. So the children will chew on their clothes, or anything else for that matter. It could be a stress thing or simply a sensory input issue.

Wow! Who Knew? Though - if you have ever tried quitting cigarettes or know someone who has - the hand/mouth habit needs to be broken so fiddling with straws/pens - chewing on them as well - helps to keep the hands busy when quitting (A better technique than substituting food and gaining the typical 15 lbs. when quitting).

So G. has a chew toy and a rope (Now - just for a moment - if we put the whole P.C. thing to the side - Does anyone else find that amusing? LOL). Ellah shared all this in a very neutral, objective way. I could tell there was no judgement about the situation. She then said, "Oh, and T. also has something." "What does T. have?" I asked. "T. has a ball that he squeezes when he is mad."

A stress ball for a Kindergardener? Genius! Who said 5 year olds don't experience stress? Stress is defined as:

a) a physical, chemical, or emotional factor that causes bodily or mental tension and may be a factor in disease causation

b) a state of bodily or mental tension resulting from factors that tend to alter an existent equilibrium.

We all experience various stressors - from birth until death.

It is up to us to learn stress-managment techniques that help us navigate the world and "stressors". I LOVE the fact that in E.'s K classroom - techniques are being used and all the children are exposed to them.

I asked E. why she didn't have something. "I don't act out in class," she replied. "Well, what about in the car or at home?" I asked. E. smiled knowingly. "Well, then we both need one," she replied, referring to herself and her almost 11 year old sister.

"Heck Ya!" I thought - flashing back to the latest car ride where L. was teasing or laughing, E. was reacting by pinching or hitting and I thought - let them both have chew toys and ropes! For that matter - let's get them for the whole family!

Because, my taking a "time-out" - putting my head in my hands in a defeated pose while my children look on - is probably not the best body language. I still need to be the "Alpha" of my pack!

Do You Deserve What You Desire?

2012-05-22T04:12:19Z

I have been working with a life coach for the last six weeks. Every 2 weeks we have a 1 hour coaching session on the phone. I have assignments that are called my campaign which are monthly and yearly based. I have my goals for the next 12 months and I have the goals for the month to help me accomplish the goals for the year. I am really enjoying the process. I've set goals for my health, fitness, relationships, finances and dream project. It feels good to have a coach/cheerleader who I can be accountable to and who holds me accountable to stay on track.

On Thursday, there was an additional coaching session called, "Deserving what you desire," or "Do you deserve what you desire" something like that. "Hmmm. Sounds like something I would like to get in on, " I thought. I wrote it in my calendar and put the email with the telephone number and info away in a folder. I was in the valley with the children (E. was participating in a market research survey and earned $75 for 1.25 hours of giving her opinion on dolls - not bad for a 5 year old!) and I saw that it was approaching the call in time. The email had disappeared. After looking for it for a few minutes, I thought, "I'll get home, I will be able to listen in on the last 30 minutes." I got home and got on the laptop - still no email! Very weird. After searching for 10 minutes I decided to give up the ghost. "Okay - self-coaching time - do you deserve what you desire?" I thought. No brainer - Of Course! We All Do!

The next day, on my morning hike, an epiphany hit me like lightening. It was kind of fascinating because as clear as a can be my subconscious knocked on my conscious mind and said, "Everyone else gets what they want."

"Huh?" My conscious mind went. "Really? That's what you believe?" Flashes from my childhood flickered in my mind - times when I did not get what I wanted or if I finally got my wish, I had out-grown it and it was when it was no longer important to me. "Hmmm. Other people have houses and backyards and pools." That is a very limiting belief - let's go back and imagine the situations again and give myself those things that were denied - a technique I thought would help shift the attachment to this lame-o belief.

Then I thought about Desire and all the Buddhist teachings I had learned - Desire seems very loaded to me. Desire and the attachment to desire is the root of all suffering. I bought that one, hook, line and sinker. So I worked on gratitude. I had been in a very content state of mind - in gratitude for the roof over my head, the clothing on my back, my family, my/our health, my work. A simple life - a good life. This was working for me until it wasn't. Because desire for change was poking me like an obnoxious sibling - Because.... as the family grows - and the nice neighbors move and the grumpy neighbors move in, and I am constantly yelling at my children to stop stomping on the neighbors' heads and we are now 5 people in the 2 bedroom house. I realized that I am in denial about my desire and my desire is to MOVE! Because... Because... Because... So can I embrace my desire, instead of denying it? Can I use the desire to make the changes I need in my life to get what I want, Or to get out of what I don't want?

So how about a new paradigm? The new reality is - Desire is not Evil. Desire will not make me a raging maniac. Desire can actually be good. Desire can be a motivating energy to get ahead.

"I can't get no, satisfaction," is now "I can get my: satisfaction And desires!"

Then I started to get my mantra rhyme on - this happens at opportune moments:

"I Earn What I Yearn!" (oh ya!)

"I Acquire What I Desire!" (sing it sister!)

"I can get my...Satisfaction...And...Desire!

Those feel nice. Feel free to use it (giving me credit of course!) And I am thinking of a large 4 bedroom/3bath house in nature, with good neighbors, environmentally friendly, backyard and garden, hot tub, outdoor entertaining/living area, near work and good schools and in safe neighborhood - oh yes - I am on a roll.

What are your desires?

The Power of Perception - for Suffering OR Enlightenment

2012-05-18T04:47:46Z

Today I was Reminded of the power of Perception - for Enlightenment and Suffering. Big words, yes... So let's take a deep breath- AH! HA! and begin....

Lishai's appointment at the Orthopedic Hospital down town at 8:50am (please arrive 30 minutes before your appointment time...you know the drill), required a subtle re-arrangement to our very regimented morning. I was responsible for getting the required bags ready - baby - check. Ellah - check. Lishai - check. Food/snacks - check. ID and Insurance cards - check! getting children loaded into their respective infant car seat, booster - and seat belts - check! Ellah was on time -even 2 minutes early - a record for me, and we had smooth sailing despite L.A. traffic to arrive at 8:30am. Pretty good so far.

Flash back to Last week's ortho visit which was supposed to include the removal of the cast (her apophysis was supposed to require a 10-14 day cast - and if you don't know what an apophysis is - I didn't either - google it!) My lovely and yet completely clueless in physiology/anatomy husband had taken her to that visit (I was seeing clients) and all I know is that Lishai arrive home - still in the cast, in hysterics and having had her "screen time" revoked due to her inability to stop crying after she was told that the cast would remain on for an additional week or two. And no one could explain to me why.

So flash forward to this morning - Mikhail's First Birthday and we are celebrating it bright and early, in the Limbo area of the hospital - the waiting room - a rainbow casted (pun intended) array of youth - arms and legs in neon green, purple, blue and one black wrapping- all waiting for their respective morning appointments. So first the good news: the cast was cut off- YAY! within 36 seconds - the cast was opened and then the wait began to visit the doctor. "It's really quick!" Lishai said optimistically, when they told us to go back to the waiting room! "We waited 5 minutes last time!" "Of course, you did," I thought, looking around the packed room. Slowly the room emptied, as Mikhail and I kept busy - him with a very exciting empty plastic water bottle he had acquired from a compliant 3 year old, and me on his tail as he tried to touch every trashcan and escape out of every available exit. After a new round of x-rays - the doctor informed us that Lishai has an accessory navicular bone. Yes - a congenital anomaly that is an extra bone in the foot. He painted a picture which involved surgery, orthopedics/orthodics etc and she lost it - again. The pediatric nurse asked her if it hurt and Lishai said - no. "How can it not hurt?" the doctor said in disbelief, "it rubs on the shoes and needs to be taken care of."

I got the referral to another orthopedist and was told to wait 1 1/2 weeks for authorization - though I doubt the insurance will cover any of it. meanwhile, what was supposed to be a joyous occasion - the dreaded cast was off!!!!! was now walk of shame/pain (not physical but emotional) for Lishai to the car. Ugly beige orthopedic shoes and the impending surgery apparently was running through her imagination because she was HYSTERICALLY crying and of course, I was making jokes about going to the next-door thrift shop to look for orthopedic shoes. "You are SO MEAN!" she screamed - um yah - sorry - my humor can be callus and in appropriate at times, admittedly.

Okay - so yes, she did calm down - after I explained to her the concept of a second opinion and the concept of PERCEPTION. What indeed had happened in that examining room - how many people were there (me, her, baby, nurses, doctor) - what was said and how each person in the room heard it, perceived it, and processed in in a different way. Also - what "Story" each one of us wrote in our heads about the conversation. Lishai went straight to "surgery and orthodics". I went to "second opinion, kinesiotaping, and arch support", the doctor went to "surgery and orthodics" and the pediatric nurse went to "no surgery, orthodics" each person had a different view of what was happening. I was excited because I always knew her foot was different and for me the mystery was solved. She had never had pain before and though the doctor didn't believe it - the nurse did and if she wasn't actively in pain - then surgery was probably now called for - but Lishai went there anyway and was miserable.

It makes one think - What perceptions am I making in certain incidences that are bringing me suffering? How can I change that perception to perhaps open myself up to a different possibility? Hm.mmmm.

Letter to Mikhail on his 1st birthday

2012-05-17T05:57:55Z

Tommarrow is your first birthday, Mikhail, and I am reflecting on the past year. You are mostly bald with a little surfer blond sprout of hair growing in every direction on the top of your head with a brownish curly, frizzy mullet in the back - left over hair from when you were born. You are very interactive and smiley. You seem to have a sense of humor and an ease that I hope you carry throughout your life. You say: papa, abba, cat, and ga which could be gato. Everything alive that isn't human seems to be "cat" or "ga." You lift your fist and squeeze when you what "Tsi-Tsi" or "Halavi" - breast milk. You wave good bye and hello like a politician - a wave from your elbow. You love putting things in your mouth. You play with Ellah's littlest pet shop pets in the bath, and you love to drop things and have people pick them up for you - from the highchairs at restaurants, in the bath, in the stroller. You are an enthusiastic eater - from broccoli, to carrots, to mashed chicken, spinach, you eat kefir mixed with grain cereal in the morning, drink formula or breast milk, love to try drinking out of regular cups and beer bottles. You seem to like the taste of beer and wine - we are going to have to watch you! You like everything potentially dangerous and I have swept wood chips, pennies, beads, screws, etc out of your mouth. You spilled bleach all over the carpet and it is now safely stowed, high beyond your reach. You love to play with Sami, our cat, and pick up Izzy, the turtle. You are very amused by Ellah and Lishai and mommy and you love to laugh. You love to clap to "If you're happy and you know it" and you have a penchant for drumming since you were 3 months old. You are now toddlering - you have been walking since 10 months, you started to crawl at 6 months. You have huge feet (we noticed it when you were born) and are wearing size 18-24 months. Your doppelgänger is Harold from Harold and the Purple Crayon. You get mad when we take something away that is hazardous or that you can ruin like the remote, the telephone, or cellphone which you love to suck on. You like baby dolls and suck on their faces - giving them kisses. Your kisses often turn into nips and you are lovable and love to give zurburts.

You radiate light and people are attracted to you everywhere you go. "That is a happy baby," I hear frequently. Men and women both are drawn to your infectious smile and inviting face - you drool all over and you have 4 teeth on top and 2 on the bottom. You are a drool machine!

You play and explore on your own but you do not like to be left behind or you don't like to perceive yourself being left behind. You will wimpier and cry as you walk down the hallway until you catch the eye of me or Graciella. The apartment is small - but if we don't remain in eye contact - you get upset. You sit and play with Ellah's kitchen and you like to take baby wipes or towels and "clean." You are drawn to brooms and despite your small size - you want to mow lawns, sweep, and do big people stuff. Your head seems heavy and you like to nod and sometimes your head throws you off balance - but you pick yourself up and keep trying. You are now dissuaded by getting hit or bumping into things and so you vacillate between independence and wanting to be attached. You walk around with a little 2 ounce bottle and then you come and ask for breast with your smile and your fist squeezing the air.

You have brought me and your dad and sisters a lot of joy. You have been my light since my mom died. Whenever I am sad or missing my mom, I can look at your and see beauty and youth and joy. I love you so much and I am so glad that you have joined our family and that you are in my life. This year has been very challenging emotionally - I miss my mommy terribly and I have had to feel many different feelings - sadness, grief, anger, acceptance, anger, sadness, loss - and what has kept me sane and hopeful and brought me joy and light is your smile and your energy and my love for you and all that you are and all that you will be - I am so grateful for you and I am so excited to celebrate tomorrow - the day you were born! Happy Birthday Mikhail! aka Mikeli, mishmish, baby, little man, manuelito.

Investing in Health and 501K's...

2012-05-14T19:56:17Z

When people talk about success and the future - usually investment portfolios are discussed along with financial strategies, you know, up and coming stocks and funds, real estate, marketing and investment strategies. Good ones: Pay yourself first! Take 10% of your income and SAVE! Develop passive income sources. All are good advice. But what is success and planning for the future if there isn't health and life?

What about investing in Health? I am as guilty as any of you - ignoring a chronic pain or symptom, hoping it will just go away. Denial is a great coping strategy! Love it! Then of course there is the Great Juggling Act: life, career, children, pets, parents, obligations, employees, business, cleaning house, cleansing clutter, planning and strategizing business ventures and financial opportunities, chauffeuring children to doctor's appointments, after school activities, cleaning pet terrarium, litter boxes, shopping and cooking and feeding offspring, etc. and whew! makes one sweat just thinking about the endless list of To Do's out there.

But at the core is the one inalienable Truth - if you don't have your health, what do you have?

How can you take care of everyone else if you don't take care of yourself?

Will you have the energy or will to take care of everyone else if you are not taking care of yourself?

Have we opened a Pandora's Box here? The One Truth is - each and everyone of us are responsible for our own well-being. We must (I am underlining and bold fonting this) - we MUST take care of ourselves - for our present sanity and well-being and for the future well-being we most certainly wish to own. So along with the rental-property and pension plans - invest in your health and wellness. Maintain your body, like you would the precious vehicle that you are. There are no trade-in's in this life - so you have to work with the vehicle you have been given. The Primary Fuel - self love, self acceptance, peace, meditation, exercise/stretching, healthy relationships, healthy perspectives - breathing, love, minimizing guilt/judgment, releasing resentments, feeling safe and secure, trusting, optimism, laughter, joy. The Secondary Fuel - whole grains, vegetables, seaplants, fruits, legumes, clean proteins, anti-oxidants, minerals, vitamins, essential fatty acids, immune boosting/hormone balancing herbs and super-foods. Feeding success and nourishing self is addressed in Integrative Nutrition by Joshua Rosenthal - Nurturing your body, feeding your soul - sounds good! Exterior maintenance - healthy cleaning products, natural body products, massage, supportive therapies - acupuncture, biofeedback, chiro, crania-sacral therapies, etc. Whatever works for your vehicle.

As we are nourished and maintained, so we can look outward and work on our community on our society and on our earth.

Taking care of others without neglecting ourselves - that is the balance for optimal health and well being. So I encourage you as I encourage myself.

My commitment for May: Hiking two days a week, Yoga at least once a week. Weekly massage/scrubbing - at a spa or in my own bathroom. Reading, meditating daily - when I can. Writing daily. And yes - putting 10% away and all that too!!!! What are you committing to this month?

Outnumbered - post 1

2012-05-14T03:55:35Z

Out numbered. How to survive and thrive when your minors outnumber the majors? This is a subject I will visit again and again.

Today we celebrated Mikhail's first birthday. Quite unaware of the date - I scheduled his first birthday on Mother's Day. The turn out was small, the menu limited to an assortment of bagels, a trio of cream cheese flavors: chive/scallion, plain, and wild smoked salmon. The necessary bagel dressings were present: tomato, cucumber, red onion, lemon slices and capers, along with our now traditional coffee-traveler from Starbucks, some 100% juice Capri-Suns and the cake. Having baked on two separate evenings - Beautiful Rosewater/Vanilla cakes for Teacher Appreciation luncheons for the respective schools of each of the girls, I was all baked out - Mikhail's first birthday cake was engineered from a Trader's Joes ready made angel food cake, whipped cream canisters, and strawberries - with the help of Ellah and her friends. Ultimately, Mikhail was happy with a strawberry - so he has yet to taste cake, but all the little guests slurped it up. A minor party by the Yaelle Shaphir standard - 10 kids including our own, and 11 adults - but a lovely time was had by all. The key was not going crazy - something I am guilty of for past party situations. The truth? I love a good event - and while I would not like to do it for a living - I live for event planning for birthdays, etc. I love taking the child's theme wish - weaving an adventure tale, planning the menu and activities - and doing it on a budget. I was going to make burkes with delicious fillings - spinach and feta, mushroom and cashew, potato and mushroom, etc. Dedi dissuaded me and I am thankful. The key is to simplify so as not to drive yourself crazy.

Now with three children and two adults in the house - it is much harder to have a moment to myself, especially when the youngest is an infant, still connected to the breast. So when I do get a moment - I savor it, relish it and optimize it - take a 45 minute hike, catch an episode of a favorite show, write a few pages, take a nap or meditate. Granted, I have learned to hike with a 25 pound baby on my back and enjoy the experience, I am currently writing with a 5 year old leaning on my elbow, but the solitary moment is precious and appreciated. The conflict that arises between the two adults is due to the fact that neither feels appreciated or acknowledged in their respective endeavors - so communication is key to the partnership working. If the adults are not on the same page - the children sense weakness and will use that weakness to wreck havoc. Our youngest senses negativity and will reflect it in her actions and behavior. She becomes a raving maniac when someone else in the house in irritable or upset. Its like she is not only a magnet but an amplifier - so if Dedi or I or her sister are upset - she sucks that negative energy, it chemically explodes into a nuclear blast that then reverberates throughout the home. Crazy and over the top? Do you know a small child like this? What it does is makes us super conscious of our mood/energy/vibe.

Surviving and thriving involves taking much needed parent "time-outs", making sure the parental body is nourished - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, making sure the parental bodies are working in synch and ultimately knowing that our children are their own independent beings and we are here to support and love and accept that their weaknesses are also our own - as we have to stay present, empowered and work with self-aknowledgement, self-acceptance, self-awareness, and self-discipline first and foremost.

Am I a Saint? Far from it. Though according to my friend, Liza, I am. I wish I had more patience. I wish I could remain in awareness, in gratitude, in the present moment during all motherhood moments. Unfortunately - breakdowns occur (more often than I would like) but the breakdowns are also empowering. Within the context of the breakdown is a breakthrough - an opportunity for deep reflection, a reminder, an opportunity for a clearer intention and possibility - and so there is a moment where one chooses - to self-judge, self-critize or blame, move into guilt, regret and remorse or to acknowledge, learn and share. We, adults are not perfect and by sharing our own mistakes and lessons and processes in a way a child can understand - they can see we are fallible and it is ok to try and fail, it is ok to make mistakes - especially if there is a safe place to share and discuss and re-visit and ultimately learn from actions/behaviors that are the "mistakes."

Mother's Day without Mom

2012-05-12T06:26:05Z

Mother's Day is Sunday. Quite by accident, I scheduled Mikhail's first birthday that morning, so of course - the majority of the invited guests have plans of their own. Which is fine - there still will be a nice dozen or two and we will serve bagels, coffee, juice and cake. If I am feeling particularly ambitious - I will make burekas. Today I was overcome with sadness and tears. Which surprised me. I am amazed by the disconnect of my brain and heart sometimes. Mom always scoffed at Mother's Day. "It is a Hallmark holiday created to sell greeting cards," she would say. "Everyday should be Mother's Day." Regardless - I have come to have expectations of acknowledgment on this day, as I am very clear that every day is NOT mother's day. Every day is everyone else's day. So at least once a year (well, there is birthday and valentine's day and anniversary day), Mother's around the world, or at least in America are celebrated - toasted, taken to brunch, etc. So the guests coming to Mikhail's party are either also revolutionaries against the Hallmark propaganda or they are orphans or far far away from their mothers. This is my first Mother's Day since mom's passing and the loss and sadness didn't hit me until Sherry said - this is your first Mother's Day without Sheffy. When she said it, it struck home. In the last few years, she has not lived near me and yet, despite this - knowing that she existed despite her ailments and me taking the role of parent, she was/is my mother. Connecting to the loss and sadness of her not being here brought tears. I remember her saying, when her father passed away - "When you parent dies, it feels like you are an orphan. It doesn't matter if you are 5 or 50 - it still feels like you have been abandoned." So there it is - I will honor her and celebrate Mikhail's Birthday in one swell sweep.

I think of growing up with a hippy mom. There weren't a lot of rules. I had my own self defined curfew. There was no need to rebel because there were no rules to rebel against. And so I was a straight A, honor student, Varsity athlete, Student Government Secretary, graduated Summa Cum Laude and overall good kid. Today I realize that the rebellion came in the form of perspective. My mom was an optimist, a dreamer, a "glass is Always full", "I am GREAT!" in the face of daily challenges and then ultimately in the throes of ALS/Parkinson's. I was/am sarcastic, cynical, pragmatic. "How can you be GREAT, when sometimes you are not?" I would ask. I remember when I was 16, she would give me money for a cab. "If you or the driver is drinking take a cab or spend the night and call me early in the morning to let you know you are alright." She would go to sleep by 9pm and wake up by 5-6am. There was no rules or reprimands such as: "Don't drink!" rather it was a given that experimentation would take place and I was to be responsible for my own person. It was liberating and exciting but even I saw the flaws in the logic. If I was dead on the side of the road, I wouldn't be able to call her in the morning to let her know I was alright. My mom used to say that she would not get out of bed in the morning if she was in a bad mood. She would stay in bed until she could begin the day in a positive mind frame. Only now, can I appreciate her strength, her power, and her determination. Being prone to fits of melancholy, as I suppose most people are - it is very easy to get into dis-empowered states of being - depression, morose, pessimism. What she was trying to share with me was that we have a choice at every given moment for who we are being. Do I choose to be bitter or depressed? Do I choose to be empowered and optimistic? What benefits does my choice give me? I used to say - I am an optimist until I am not. I am an optimist and a realist. Unfortunately, I only saw my mom through my rebellious teenager attitude - sarcasm and cynicism were my rebellion versus my mom's airy-fairy, slightly deluded, hippy optimist. Now that she is gone and I am a mother and faced with very strong minded children, I realize how much strength, truth and power my mom really had and I with I could tell her again and again how amazing she was and how much she is a role model for me as I navigate my own Motherhood.

What's the Deal with Comments?

2012-05-08T19:02:53Z

Being a relatively newbie with the whole blogging thing, why is it the comments I am receiving look like advertising for products and otherwebsites? From belts, to sunglasses to motorcycles - comments with poor grammar, spelling mistakes and sales are the only comments I am receiving. Anyone out there actually enjoying the content of this blog? HEEEELLLLOOOOO????

LOL - well - if anyone has ideas on how to stop the madness - please respond. But if you are trying to advertise your erectile disfunction medication or your ellie tahari or gucci knock-off outlet - please ignore this post!

Easy Meditations for you to incorporate into a Busy Schedule

2012-05-08T18:53:00Z

Meditation is an important part of minimizing stress. If you can minimize stress - you are aiding in your overall health and well-being.

Dr. Chris George, D.C. - shared a way to get in 10-15 minutes of meditation for any professional.

*set your smartphone timer to alert you every hour

* When your alert sounds, turn away from your computer monitor

*Set your smartphone timer for 1 minute

* Place your hands on your lap or do the following smiling meditation

* or Breathe in for a count of 4, hold your breath for a count of 4 and exhale for a count of four.

Option: As your inhale, think: "Let" as your exhale, think: "Go"

*When the 1 minute time goes off - check in with yourself - how was that? And continue working. After 10 hours you will have done 10 minutes of meditation.

***Smiling meditation has been a part of Chinese medicine for thousands of years. Don Lee, L.Ac., founder of the Academy of Orthopedic Acupuncture recommends doing this smiling meditation every day for 90 seconds:

Sit, stand or lie down in a quiet area.
Place your right hand on your abdomen and your left hand on top of your right. Or vice versa- it doesn’t matter.
Close your eyes and grin. It also helps to imagine a smile in your eyes and heart.
As you breathe in feel your abdomen fully rise and then fall as you exhale. Breathe slowly and fully. Focus your mind on your breath. If you get distracted by your thoughts simply let them go and return to your breath. 90 seconds is about 9 full slow deep breaths.

You can do this before going to sleep, as a way to take a break, or whenever you are in a clutch situation.

Have a Beautiful Day!!!!!!!

Budding foodie....

2012-04-18T07:25:49Z

Just one small thing to post - my 5 year old is a budding foodie! Joining the ranks of foodies in the fan - Ellah discovers that dipping her smoked salmon in raw orange blossom flower is "Delicious!" "Amazing!" "Delightful!"

Meanwhile, Lishai is gagging in her napkin.

Small joys....

Have a beautiful day!

Staying Connected

2012-03-14T05:31:09Z

Today may have not been the most productive day.

Though I wouldn't want to sell myself short.

Three Days a week- life feels like it is a back-to-back scavenger hunt/obstacle course race of "things to do" - Wake up, feed baby, give husband baby - fall back to sleep for 1 hour while he feeds children, supervises dress up/clean up/get ready for school with and without obligatory threats. Wake up, pump, leave my baby with a loving adult (husband or nanny), and hike nearby hill for 50 minutes, go to work, see patients/clients - listen to them, treat them and at the end of the day - drive to pick up each girl at her respective school, get home, make dinner, supervise homework, bath, brush teeth, book, two minutes (never actually 2 minutes) remind eldest child to "feed your cat!" and by (optimistically) 9:30pm - I can check emails, blog, work on websites, return phone calls, do dishes, and or read a book/watch a show (currently season 3 of Lie to Me - LOVE IT!). Does any of this sound familiar? Go to bed not early which makes sense rationally - because I want some time to myself! (I know you are nodding your head in agreement).

So on a tuesday or thursday - life changes pace a bit. The Routine is flexible and I can do as much or as little as I please as long as it is baby friendly.

Today - husband dropped off children at school and I got to sleep in!!!!! Since baby is still glued to the boob at night (I know, I know - Use Your Crib!) - sleep is still a problem from 1am-6am. Then as baby took morning snooze - I returned client phone calls (some a week late - whoops!) and emails. Then I spoke with a girlfriend I haven't spoken to in months. Then I Skyped my aunt in Israel for 34 minutes. We went to Mommy and Me Yoga at Golden Bridge - a nice Kundalini set on removing Guilt - which worked the upper body. did some shopping (glue sticks for kinder project, cotton balls for work and blood worms for garden - yech!) Came home, baby slept and I Skyped my best friend from college for another 30-odd minutes (guilt free pleasure!), , and then took a walk and stopped for a cup (or two of iced tea0 with friend. Then pick up girls at 6pm from Religious school and the nighttime routine begins a new.

So what if there are 37 things that remain on my To Do List? They will still be there tomorrow...

Connecting with friends and family? Priceless!

Flower Essences - Effective Energetic Medicine or Placebo?

2012-03-12T07:57:27Z

Okay - for those of you that don't know - Flower Essences are herbal infusions or decoctions, made from the flowering part of the plant. They allegedly or reportedly , which "uniquely address emotional and mental aspects of wellness." The first 38 flower remedies were formulated by a British physician, Dr. Edward Bach, in the 1930's, although new remedies from other plant species are now available.

Basically, flower are place in spring water in the sun for 2-4 hours. The water absorbs the energy or essence of the flower and is "impregnated". The water is then preserved with an alcohol. The original Bach essences preserved in Brandy. Then that "Mother" tincture is in the stock bottle. You can then take a few drops from the Mother and mix or make a new bottle - the dilution of it doesn't weaken it. You take a few drops a few times a day and reportedly - the energetics of the flower essence balance body and mind.

Flower essences where (pun intended) a little to air/fairy for me. Until I saw the results. My (now 10 year old) started grinding her teeth at night at the age of 14 months. I tried everything - massage, herbs, acupuncture - nothing helped. Western Pediatric Doctors - didn't have a remedy. Then at the Northern California Women's Herbal Symposium (when she was almost 3 years old) - a lady doused some bottles and made Lishai a essence remedy with wild lettuce, orange and something else. She put it in glycerin instead of brandy and told lishai to take a few drops every day. Lishai liked it immediately and called it, "My Sweetness" - the bottle ran out within 3 weeks - and her nightly teeth grinding stopped! Unbelievable. A few years later, also at the NCWHS - I took a workshop in flower essence making.

It makes sense if you consider that we are all energetic beings and the energy of the natural world around us has an imprint. Why certain plants or flowers would have certain properties - emotionally or mentally - is certainly up for discussion. I do know that people who are sensitive to energy do well with flower essences and definitely children and animals respond.

That being said - upon reflection of the emotional/mental health of my household - I thought - my middle child could possibly benefit from a remedy. Upon further reflection - I thought - um...I could probably benefit from a remedy....and my husband....and my 10 year old. Found a great site call FEELBACH that has really reasonably priced customized remedies - used some kinesiology to pick out the right combo for each of us and now I am waiting for USPS to do their thing. Will up date you with results - if everyone in the family will take them.

Ex. For the 5 years old: WALNUT - Allows you to make or adapt to major life changes and to fulfill your ambitions free from the influence of others SWEET CHESTNUT - Brings optimism and peace of mind when anguish overwhelms you and you can find no way out LARCH- Instills a greater sense of self-esteem when you feel inferior, fear failure or lack confidence GORSE -Encourages a brighter, more positive perspective when you feel there is no hope left CRAB APPLE - Helps you accept your physical imperfections and feel better about the way you are CHERRY PLUM - Helps you act rationally and think clearly with a calm and balanced mind when you fear losing control.

Anyone have any experience with flower essences?

Why I am boycotting Fisher-Price...

2012-03-08T20:06:40Z

I received a Fisher-Price "Friendly Firsts" Ducky Rattle Stacker for baby as a gift from one of my husband's kind clients. It does not say that it is BPA-free so I tried contacting FP to get the low down as I know that baby will be gumming those rings like nobody's business.

Couldn't get through on the telephone so tried contacting them the online way - web chat.

I loved this conversation and had to share:

Please wait while we find an agent to assist you...

You have been connected to Susan.

Susan: Hi YAELLE, thank you for contacting Fisher Price. My name is Susan. How can I help you today?

YAELLE SHAPHIR: GOT A FISHER PRICE FIRENTLY FIRSTS - DUCKY RATTLE STACKER FOR A GIFT FOR MY BABY AND I AM WONDERING IF IT IS BPA-FREE AS IT DOES NOT SAY ON THE BOX

Susan: I can look into this for you. I just need to get a little more information. Do you have the product with you right now?

YAELLE SHAPHIR: IT IS STILL IN THE PACKAGING

YAELLE SHAPHIR: NEXT TO ME

Susan: I am looking for the product number. It will be in the area where the bar code is.

Susan: It should be a letter followed by four numbers.

YAELLE SHAPHIR: ON THE TOP IS N1070 UNDER THE BAR CODE IT IS

Susan: Thanks!

Susan: Do you also see a date code? It would be four numbers followed by 2 letters in the same area.

YAELLE SHAPHIR: 1305TLB

Susan: Thanks for your help.

Susan: Do you recall when you got it and also which store you purchased it at?

YAELLE SHAPHIR: MY BABY IS 10 MONTHS OLD AND GOT IT 11 MONTHS AGO. I DID NOT PURCHASE IT. RECEIVED IT AS A GIFT FROM CLIENT

Susan: Thanks so much.

YAELLE SHAPHIR: PROBABLY TOYS R US

Susan: Just one moment while I do some research for you.

Susan: Ingredient and Global manufacturing information can be found here.

The agent is sending you to http://corporate.mattel.com/about-us/cr-csreport.aspx.

Susan: Is there anything else I can help you with today?

YAELLE SHAPHIR: CAN YOU JUST TELL ME IF THERE IS BPA OR NOT

Susan: Just one moment and I will look for additional information for you.

Susan: Thank you for your patience.

YAELLE SHAPHIR: WHEN I LOOKED AT THAT LINK IT SAID THE PAGE COULD NOT BE FOUND

Susan: We do not have anything that specifically states whether your product is bpa free. I am sorry.

Susan: Let me check the page for you please.

YAELLE SHAPHIR: THANK YOU

The agent is sending you to http://corporate.mattel.com/about-us/cr-csreport.aspx.

Susan: I checked and the website is working. I am sorry it didn't come up.

Susan: I did check for you and we do not have information stating whether or not the product is bpa free.

Susan: Is there anything else I can help you with today?

YAELLE SHAPHIR: OH WELL - I WILL DONATE IT. FISHER-PRICE KNOWS THAT BPA IS TOXIC RIGHT?

Susan: I believe this issue would be better handled over the phone. Please contact us at 1-888-253-4303. Please reference your email address when you call.

Susan: Is there anything else I can do for you today?

YAELLE SHAPHIR: I TRIED CALLING BUT DIDN'T GET A RESPONSE. HAVE A NICE DAY.

Susan: I hope you will try this number again.

Susan: Thank you for contacting Fisher Price. Have a nice day!

I Keep Catching a Cold!

2012-03-08T18:43:36Z

This winter - Patient X (actually Patient X is a large number of people) comes in. "I don't understand it! I keep getting sick! I have caught a cold 4-5 times this winter. I have been sick on and off since Novemeber!" (It is February). The primary complaint is that Patient X is miserable, tired, Patient X's nose is either stuffed or dripping or sinus pressure or coughing or hoarse. Patient X thinks maybe it is allergies or low immunity. Patient X keeps getting sick!

We live in a society where there is basically this "go, go, Go!" mentality. Also we LOVE "Quick Fixes." High Fever - take tylenol/advil - fever reducer. Congested? Mucinex (sp?), Nyquil, Robitussin, etc. anti-histamine, decongestant, etc.

But where in this mix is the immune enhancing support?

Well, if you are sick and have to go to work - what do you do? You grab what will give you immediate relief and feeling a bit better, you go to work. At work, you Get your work done, Spread your sickness (as most viruses are airborne - Share, Share, Share generously with your co-workers in your central Air/Heating contained Fish Bowl your germs), then go home and pass out.

And I ask you again: Where is the immune enhancing support?

Whole Foods is pricey and major retail, however, they have a congenial return policy - so if you keep your receipt and you are not happy with a supplement - you can return it, despite having opened it and tried it.

That being said - the following have been used to effectively enhance immunity, fight off illness. I will legally say - check with your physician (to cover my liable behind) however, in the end - everyone must find what works for them.

1. oscillococcinium - www.oscillo.com - still my favorite when just starting with aches, chills, headache - "flu"ey - just starting to get sick symptoms.

2. Sambucol or Elderberry - immune enhancement for respiratory/cough symptoms

3. Sinusin (Euphorbium) nasal spray for congestion - I use this on the kids a lot when they come home sniffling or congested or runny.

4. Homeopathic - kid's remedies for cough - the First Aid Kit for Kids is great use there is an index with symptoms so you can choose everything from cuts/bruises (arnica), teething (chamomile), to phos (runny nose, cough), to high fever (belladonna).

5. Evergreen herbs (have to go through TCM practitioner not retail) - Magnolia Clear Sinus (for runny, sneezing - allergies or first sign of cold), Pueraria Clear Sinus (for yellow/green, headache, sinus pressure, congestion), Herbal ENT (for bacterial/viral colds affecting nose, throat and ears), and Herbal ABX - an antiviral/antibacterial formula that is great to kick things out before they get crazy. Respitrol Deficient for Wheezing/Asthma, Respitrol Cold or Heat for Cough - Bronchitis/Upper Respiratory illnesses.

Change your Toothbrushes or disinfect so you don't re-infect yourself!

Gargle with salt water or garlic or goldenseal - gross but effective.

Other options: colloidal silver or grapefruit seed extract - not my go to's but others love it.

It could be true that you keep catching whatever is floating around - and there are always several viruses circulating. But it could also be true that you just never actually kicked out the first one that you had. The "herd" of bacteria/germs were killed off by your immune system, but the rogue germs hid out, regrouped and came back with vengeance!

Also - stay away from SUGAR (lowers immunity and bacterial LOVE it!) it is feeding the enemy. Stay away from Dairy and white flour- causes mucus in the system.

And support yourself with probiotics.

Wishing you good health this Spring!

And if al

Only after

"The Secret" or "Explaining Neuronal Pathways" to a 5 year old

2012-03-07T05:30:49Z

Have you ever drawn a line in the dirt with your finger? Then keep drawing it over and over again. Do you see how it gets deeper and deeper and stronger and bigger? That is what we do in our brains with our thoughts and behaviors. When we learn something new - the first time is hard - ice skating, riding a bike, learning to read - we have to practice and practice and practice and practice - so that we learn how to get good at something. In the beginning it is hard and then it gets easier - and soon you are doing it without even thinking about it! Well - every time you do it - you are making a line in your brain and it is getting bigger and deeper. So it is really important when we have thoughts about ourselves that they be good, positive thoughts like, "I am smart, I am kind, I am beautiful, I am loved." Because those thoughts and feelings are making stronger and deeper lines in your brain. When you say bad things like, "I am stupid, I hate myself, I wish I weren't living, nobody likes me," you are making those lines deeper and deeper and stronger in your brain. And from the conversation we had before (refer to previous post) - we know that feelings and thoughts change - so a Key to life and happinesses is making strong lines in our brains that will make us and keep us happy.

(Used this with my 5 year old and she seemed to get it.)

"The Secret" or "Explaining Neuronal Pathways" to a 5 year old

2012-03-07T05:30:48Z

(Used this with my 5 year old and she seemed to get it.)

Keys to Life explained to a 5 year old

2012-03-06T06:51:32Z

Faced with writing a "Dr.Seuss" inspired story, Ellah, age 5, has a complete meltdown. With her right hand clenched in a fist, she begins to hit the side of her head. "I am stupid! I am stupid! I wish I was never alive!" Ellah has just learned word families, like cat, hat, mat, rat, and fin, tin, bin, din, etc. To put the words into sentences into a Dr. Seuss-like story is too much. "Let's go to bed." I say. "No!" she screams. She continues to berate herself, "I hate myself, my brain is going to explode!" The force and ferocity of her thoughts and feelings seem so beyond her little 5 year old frame. The idea of not completing the homework is unacceptable to her. "I'm tired!" she continues to scream and hit herself and pinch her stomach until it is red. I look at her numbly and think, "This is the Kindergarden version of cutting!" "Why is she hurting herself?" My 10 year old asks. She is clearly disturbed and perplexed by the behavior. There is no reasoning with the 5 year old mind. I try distraction, "Let's watch your birth video." Her home birth has been edited into a beautiful 4 minute movie with Aradhana Silvermoon's "Pray" - a soothing beautiful melody. We watch it and she calms down. "Do you see how hard it was to make you?" I say. "It is not okay for you to hurt yourself." We watch the video a few times and she calms down and writes a sentence and goes to bed. The next day, I think about the conversation I want to have with her. Hers are thoughts and feelings beyond what I would imagine a 5 year old having. They seem so Big and Overwhelming for such a small, loving, sweet, empathic child. The other side of her is so caring, loving, compassionate, empathic.

I pick her up from school. "I had a Great Day!" she says with a smile that will light up a city. "I am so glad!" I reply. We talk about her day and then I broach the subject that I have been thinking of since the following night's meltdown.

Here is how I put it: Me: "Do you know what KEYS are for?" Her: "What do you mean?" Me: "You know how Keys open things, like the house door, or they start things like a car?" Her: "Yes."

This is the gist of my lecture: "There are Keys to Life and Being Happy that you will learn and they are going to make it much easier to be happy and to deal with hard things in your life. Do you remember once I told you, "You have the power to be happy or sad. And you said, "You say I have the power, but I don't have the power!" You will learn keys that will give you the power you need to be happy. One key that you already have learned is the alphabet. Once you know the A,B,C's you can start to put words together and you will learn to read and write. So the A,B,C's are an important Key in life. Another important Key is Feelings. When you were small, and you were frustrated and angry, I would say to you, "You look angry." You would yell angrily, "I am NOT angry!" and I would say, "Then you look frustrated." You would yell angrily, "I am NOT frustrated!" and then I would say, "Well are you Happy?" and you would grumble, "I am NOT happy!" Well - acknowledging or understanding your feelings is a Key to being about to control your mood and having the power to be happy. Those bad thoughts and feelings that you had yesterday, do you have them today?"

Her answer: "No." My response: "So you know that they are not true. Do you hate yourself? or Are you stupid?" Her answer: "No." My response: "So even though yesterday, those feelings and thoughts felt very real, you see that today - they are not real. So feelings are important but they are not facts. They are not real things. They change. Instead of saying such mean and bad things about yourself and others. If you use the Key of Feelings to say how you feel. Then that is the Key. Instead of saying, "I hate myself, I am stupid, I wish I weren't alive," You need to say your feelings: "I am frustrated, I am angry, I am sad." Her response: "And then I can ask to watch my birth video." Exactly - whatever you need to do to calm down and shift into a better state.

The other topic I broached that day was the idea of neuronal pathways in the brain. How did I explain this to a 5 year old? Read on...

There's nothing like a "Good" sickness to put Life into Perspective!

2012-03-05T18:03:05Z

There's nothing like a "good" ass-kicking sickness to put life into perspective. Last week I was sick as a "strephed" out puppy. What started out as flu-like symptoms on Saturday night, turned into a swollen, tonsillitis nightmare that kept getting worse to the point that on Thursday, I dragged myself to a walk-in clinic and upon viewing the "Rocky Mountain Skyline" that was my throat - she promptly handed me 7 days of Amoxacillin. I was inspired to write: "Ode to Amoxacillin - Oh, Amoxacilin, you ain't the villain. With the pain in my throat, tonsils all a coat, you've come to my aid,the stand-byes have betrayed, goldenseal and herbal abx ain't doing the trick, you've come in the nick, you are my knight in shining armor, j'amore!"

The usual wonder herbs and supplements: Oscillo, Herbal ABX, Herbal ENT, Goldenseal Tincture did not cut it this time. Had to bring in the Nukes - and within 12 hours and 2 dosages later - I could swallow and talk again. That being said - not loving the Yeasty side effects of the antibiotics - cutting out sugar, taking the yogurt and probiotics and the homeopathic stuff on the other end - to nip it in the bud. So now feeling good - physically, emotionally - this is mom's birthday today - so we celebrated with a fruit plate in the morning. My mom would make beautiful bountiful esthetic fruit plate mandalas for my birthday every year. I continued the tradition with my girls. So Ellah's 5 year old version was 10 blueberries and 5 strawberries in a bowl. It's the symbolism that counts! We sang Savta Sheffy "Happy Birthday" and Mikhail managed to suck on and smear Strawberry Juice over the bed and carpet and....So now, showered after a Hike (mom would approve, she walked an hour or so with her friend Dorothy several times a week when she was well), I am off to work. Enjoy your day and be grateful!

Pediatric Acupuncture Treatments abound in our Household

2012-02-25T00:29:32Z

Between having a baby, writing a young adult novel, taking care of (now) 3 kids and husband and a busy acupuncture practice - oh ya - I have neglected the acumomma blog - for shame!

The newest and coolest:

Treated baby Mikhail (now 9 months and cutting two front upper teeth) with a quick acu- treatment using LI4 and LU7 and ST36 when he came home from a breezy beach outing with papa - barefoot and in a short-sleeve t-shirt with frozen toes (in February? Really?) and a slight runny nose that turned into major cold, congestion the next day. Within minutes - the nose had dried up! Granted I threw in a Pediatric Sinus herbal tincture and a few drops of breast milk nasal spray (yes, possible and messy). The dry nose lasted a few hours and we have repeated. He is doing great!

Lishai came home with a slightly itchy and pus-y eye - Yay Conjunctivitis! So much fun! Started her on tea compresses, breast milk in the eye ("Disgusting" she says) and Lonicera Complex herbal formula (use that's what I had in the house) and an acupuncture treatment using distal points. 10 year olds are pushy patients - none in the stomach, in the face, here, there, you get the picture. Stuck to the GB34, Liv 3, SJ5, LI4, GB20.

She stated that her eye "felt better" after the treatment. Visually - the puffy-ness was gone. But I think mostly - she didn't want to cancel her snowboarding trip with friends!

That's all for now - Remember to Breathe - and Relax - it's all Small Stuff!

Let us envision together a world of interdependence

2011-10-31T20:07:09Z

I will be performing with the Gong at an amazing event in 2 weeks:

Please join me! Student/Friends discount is $97 for the all day event.

A vision, A Gender Declaration of Interdependence, that offers unconditional support to Men and conceives a New Legacy for our Children

On November 16^th, 2011, at the Century Plaza Hotel in Los Angeles will be a special experience. The theme is the Feminine Light in the Middle East -- designed to examine who we are as women, appreciate our talents, value ourselves, find joy in our purpose and honor the men who honor us.

On this day, we want to show gratitude for our blessings and achievements and join with others to create a voice of tolerance, leading the way toward greater personal and global fulfillment. Together we can work toward harmony that finds balance between the feminine and the masculine, a healthy legacy for our children.

Today, we turn our faces toward the women in the Middle East and explore ways to support them in their security, self-worth and purpose.

This day is the official launching of the Institute of Women’s Enlightenment and we will give birth to an action plan for working together toward the common good of women everywhere. We will:

· Develop our consciousness with regard to the nature of our identity as women

· Promote an exchange of ideas that will live on after the event

· Create a vision of understanding and encouragement

· Find practical ways to support women in the Middle East

· Develop an action plan for ensuring that women’s and girl’s voices are heard

It will be a day of discovery, illumination, definition, and enlightenment.
You’ll enjoy music, soulful sounds, savory tastes and celebrations of the Star Rose Awards.