My 1.5 year old is in what is called the phase of "negativity." She is asserting her independence by asserting her ability to say "no!" I will smell a stinky diaper and ask her, "Is there cahki (hebrew for poop)?" "no!" she answers with a smile. Not convincing... I do the doggy sniff (you parents out there know what I am talking about - the bend and sniff the behind move). And I think to myself - if it smells like poop, it's most likely...POOP! Then when I catch her and am changing her and she is lying prostrate upon the carpet. I ask her, "Is there poop?" and she smiles and answers, "Yah!"

I realize that as an adult. I utilize my yes and no's, my positives and negatives, in a more logical manner, at least on a concious level. However, there seems to be subconcious thought patterns that we all have that are on automatic. We revert into negativity without any real awareness.

Case in point, Tuesdays are now hiking days. My friend, Jenny, is ready to lose some lbs. I am ready to get in shape. We make a good walking pair. My man with the baby on his back, has gone into army march pace and is 10 feet ahead and slowly distancing himself from us. In my head I am already thinking, "I haven't hiked in 5 years, this is going to be hard. This is hard. I can't do this." And I feel my legs getting heavier and we haven't even started! WHOAH - Says the higher self - you are the hypno-birthing rock star. And I immediately start with my concious new affirmative patterning, saying to myself - "This is easy. My muscles have memory and are strong. We can do this." I say this to myself and outloud as I hear Jenny voicing my internal negativity, "I am so out of shape. I can't go very fast. etc. etc. etc." And lo and behold - the task seems easier, my legs feel lighter and stronger.

30 minutes later we are at the top of Runyon Canyon - overlooking Los Angeles - an urban jungle kissing the Pacific ocean. Taking in a few deep breathes before heading down the steep incline I think to myself - Positivity Rocks! We would have gotten to the top of the mountain grousing and kvetching the whole way or chanting affirmations. The question is - which way is easier? Which way in more empowering? Which way do we choose?

Continuing my quest this month to be - the silent witness. I don't judge myself for the negative patterns whenever they pop up. I am simply more concious of the frequency and then I am able to reprogram them. I am also aware of others speaking about themselves and others and how often we fall into this pattern.

ps. I ordered my Spring Cleanse from www.drnatura.com and I am waiting to begin it after my Mother's Day Wine Tasting weekend with my college girls. Stay tuned!!!!