An awareness of (without judgment, of course!) - Feelings of Guilt for not blogging!
Letting it go... ALRIGHT! So...
Last new moon (Last Saturday for those that do not regularly gaze), I attended a women's New Moon Circle, a gathering of women that celebrates ritual, contemplation and intention. I have been attending this New Moon Circle, on and off, since going to England to train with the Gong. I left Los Angeles an Acupuncturist, Mother, and Wife, and I came back, August 2004, a Gong-Master in-training (a new "hat" to wear along with my others). I was approached at a dance class (bellydancing with Maya Karasso) by Aleks, a midwife and fellow bellydancing afficionado. A year prior, she had begun to host  these gatherings on the New Moon of each month and as September would be a music theme and she asked that I play the Gong. I was very excited for my first invitation and spent 6 hours with amazing women singing, playing music and having great fun and food! The next day I got my period (10 days early). I am regular like clock work so this was weird! Ever since then (barring pregnancy)I have gotten my period on the new moon and ovulated 2 days after the full moon. That is how powerful the moon and being with women is! Anyway - fast forward 3 1/2 years and I was attending the circle after having missed a few. This one was about "digging deep" and letting go of bad habits, blockages, "All the stuff that keeps us from moving forward" in our lives. The first woman to approach the bowl (a little explanation: we bless salts with intention and herbs, essential oils, flowers, energy, and then each women takes a jar home. The salts are ideally placed near a window or outside to absorb the energy of the moon - I live in an apartment, so they stay in the jar usually!. Then each women bathes in the salts on the full moon, absorbing all the women's blessings and intentions. It is a lovely ritual and my 6 1/2 year old, loves to get in the tub too!)
Am I digressing to often? In any case, the first women to approach the bowl of salt, talked about "being a silent witness and having this be enough."
What? I was confused, I tell you! What the heck was she talking about? I closed my eyes and tried to imagine myself a silent witness. No judgement, just witness. I felt the cool air on my skin, the sound of the women talking, the carpeted floor beneath me, the Pillows on my back and I was CALM! and Neutral and at peace. A feeling of well being came over me and I thought - this is the way to go!
But what did she mean about it being enough? Having practiced it for a week, I understand that it is enough!
It is so easy to judge all the time, oneself and others. It is unconcious and concious and then when I am concious of being judgmental, then I get judgmental about being judgmental. Who am I to be judgmental? Now I am the silent witness - very neutrally observing - Oh! There I go again - making a judgment call. And then I let it go. There are less and less stories and things just are.
So, I know that I set an intention for doing a Cleanse. It hasn't happened yet. I haven't even ordered the suppllies. But I am not feeling guilty and I am simply observing that it hasn't happened yet. And most definitely won't happen until after my house guests and visiting relatives leave next week!
All I can say is -try it! You'll like it! Try to listen and be your own silent witness and see what miracles transpire in the next week! I'll be a witness to your witness!